Is anger the first thing you feel in response to far too many situations? Losing your temper at the tiniest provocation? Here are 9 ways you can manage it and save the other person from your punch-happy knuckles.
1. Stop talking
When you are angry your social inhibitions blur out and let your rage take over. So hurtful words and actions will feel easier to say or do. Pretend your mouth is closed shut and locked and you don’t have the key. This moment will give you time to reflect upon your next move. Remember it is okay to take your time to respond to your surroundings.
2. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.
3. Breathe
Your breathing becomes shallower and speeds up as you grow angry. Reverse that trend (and your anger) by taking slow, deep breaths from your nose and exhaling out of your mouth for several moments.
4. Countdown
Yes, that exercise we used to do as children is a method you could use to let your emotions flow out of you as your mind get occupied by something. Similar to keeping quiet this gives you time to relax and think about everything that is happening.
5. Walk around
Exercise can help calm your nerves and reduce anger. Anything that gets your limbs pumping is good for your mind and body. Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, ride your bike, or hit a few golf balls.
6. Repeat a mantra
Find a word or phrase that helps you calm down and refocus. Repeat that word again and again to yourself when you’re upset. “Relax,” “Take it easy, and “You’ll be OK” are all good examples.
7. Play some tunes
Put in headsets and play some soothing tracks to drown out the toxic environment. Crank up your favourite music and hum, bop, or sashay your anger away.
8. Rehearse your response
Prevent an outburst by rehearsing what you’re going to say or how you’re going to approach the problem in the future. This rehearsal period gives you time to role-play several possible solutions, too.
9. Stick with I statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework.”
